Hey Gang! That's Dave Chappelle as "Prince," a hilarious parody he does of the artist. For this blog, we are going to focus on effective use of humor...Anyone can be funny in public speaking, it is just a matter of timing, cues and permission to the audience. Visit this url to get a couple funny quotes from Ray Romano. http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/ray_romano.shtml
Don't be afraid to memorize a few lines, they come in handy for speeches in a pinch!!! Now--Think of your favorite comdiene and why it is they crack you up...Humor has to be used appropriately and tastefully to work well in public speaking. It works great as an attention getter, but analyze your audience...will they think it's funny? Self depricating humor is a great way to go, making fun of yourself or your own family, culture, religion, etc. People respect some one who is not afraid to point to themselves and laugh. For this blog, take a stab at self depricating humor by telling a funny story or anecdote about you. Think of how this might turn into the attention getter for one of your speeches, sometimes funny life experiences become metaphors for serious, bigger picture issues. Don't ramble on too long, now! Humor relies on timing, so if your story goes on and on, you'll lose the audience...funny people are good editors, they know when and where to "cut stuff out." Too much detail is not funny, ok? It's boring! And remember: "Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." (Mark Twain, borrowed on 6/12/06 from http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/mark_twain.shtml).
33 comments:
On my birthday last year, which happened to be my 21st, I fell and broke my foot. Now, that may seem like a normal, some what clumsy thing to do. But...there's something I left out. I broke my foot getting up from the toilet. Yes, I know the question on all your minds. No, I was not drunk.
-Kelleigh Mullen
On my birthday last year, which happened to be my 21st, I fell and broke my foot. Now, that may seem like a normal, some what clumsy thing to do. But...there's something I left out. I broke my foot getting up from the toilet. Yes, I know the question on all your minds. No, I was not drunk.
-Kelleigh Mullen
A funny and really gross thing just happened to me like two days ago. I was over my boyfriends house on the computer jus drinking a soda. And well my boyfriend chews tobbacco and spits in soda cans, cups, ground, where ever it is good for him. Well instead of taking a sip of my soda I drank the soda can with spitted chew in it. lol Yes it was disgusting and my boyfriend was pointing and laughing at me. Eww when I think about it I can still taste the peppery nasty stuff on my toungue Yuck!lol But maybe how this can go into a speech or a life lesson is clean up after yourself damnit! It can hurt people! lol
A few days ago a funny and gross thing happened to me. I was at my boyfriend's house playing on the computer and drinking a soda. Well my boyfriend chews tobacco and spits anywhere he feels like it. I set my soda down and picked it up to take a sip and its not soda. Its his spitted out chewed tobacco. Ya it was the most disgusting thing ever. And my boyfriend is just sitting there laughing at me. So I had to kick his ass lol. So I guess how you can make that into a speech is one cleanup after yourself or someone is going to get hurt. Or revenge is so sweet! lol
~Andrea Jouganatos~
Lots of funny, emabarassing, clumbsy things happen to me ALWAYS!!! I have been accused of having a black cloud follow me around. It sometimes feels like I live my life in an episode of "I Love Lucy." I can go back as far as my childhood to find the random injuries or situations that I would somehow be responsible for inflicting upon myself, but for the sake of me not writing an entire novel on this blog I will start with a laundry list from my 19th birhtday, you will notice a reoccuring theme. LIST: My parents bought me a brand new car, one week later I was a victim of road rage with a golf club, two days later I was a victim of a hit and run, three months later, the car was keyed, four months later the car was totaled (I wasn't driving) and I broke my tibia and fibula, two months later I backed into my friends car with my second brand new car, six months later my new new car was keyed, four months later I broke my ankle for the third time, two months ago I was one of the victims of the crazy man shooting at everyone in Elk Grove, guess what he hit my car with a shot gun shell. I think you've got both my points, you never want to ride in the car with me and my Dad's insurance premiums are through the roof!! I'm sure I could get an audiences attention with endless amounts of speech topics. Drive Safe Everyone!
Stefanie "Three leaf clover" Cartwright
So… I know this guy, whom I’ll call Paugusto in order to keep his identity a secret. One scorching summer day, he went over to his friend’s house to relax in the pool. He was totally amazed to see a pitbull diving to the bottom of the deep end of a pool to retrieve a hammer. Amazed by this trick Paugusto, tried to take the hammer from the pitbull and throw it in himself. But, being a pitbull, the dog wouldn’t let go of the hammer. Paugusto knew that pitbulls locked their jaws and wouldn’t let go of things so, he played a vigorous game of tug-o-war with the dog. He did not know however, that they also liked to play practical jokes as well. While he was forcefully pulling on the hammer and trying to intentionally irritate a pitbull (because Paugusto is very intelligent) the dog suddenly let go of the hammer. This caused the hammer to slam into Paugusto’s face and send him sprawling out on the floor with a bloody nose. The injury was nothing compared to the insult and embarrassment that he sustained, and he laid there hoping to melt into the floor to avoid detection. A multitude of fingers and laughter pointed in his direction combined with the mocking howl and the look of self satisfaction from the dog’s beady brown eyes told him that it was futile. The moral is thus, pitbulls are God’s cruel creatures that we need to be aware of at all times. It’s all fun and games, until someone gets hit in the face with a hammer.
-----August McBride
I love to play pranks! Well, this one that I played was on my dad not too long ago. My dad is a manager at Chevron. I called him at home disguising my voice as his district supervisor. I said, "Tom, this is Kelly from Chevron. I'm not too sure whats going on at the station but I received a call that the next shift isn't coming in." My dad said, "really! I wonder why no one has called me." I said, "I'm not sure but this matter needs to be taken care of immediately!" My dad siad, "I agree. This is not acceptable. I'll take care of it right away and I'm sorry that they had to bother you with this at home." I said, "that's okay."
The part where my prank got funny was after we hung up. I meant to call him right back and tell him that I got him but, as I was dialing his number to do that, I got a phone call. It was my mom. I got so busy telling her about the prank that I forgot to call my dad back. In the meantime, my dad had called his station wanting to know what was going on and demanded that he know why and who called his supervisor. They said, "Tom, I'm sorry to hear that Kelly called you but, there isn't anything going on here, in fact everything is running smoothly." So then my dad called Kelly to tell her that everything was fine and she said, "I didn't call you."
Needless to say, that prank went bad on a professional level. It took my dad a few days and some explaining to his employees before he found it funny.
Sorry, that prank done on my dad was by Stephanie Sawhill.
Last summer two of my friends and I decided to go to Disneyland. We stayed at a nice hotel however; it was the last hotel on the street. I don't know if you guys know this but there are a lot of hotels on the street were Disneyland's at. After we were settled in a friend dropped us off at California Adventures Park. We had to get are own ride back. Both of my friends wanted to walk back to the hotel. I was like no way, but I was not going to take the bus by myself. On the long walk back to the hotel my slurpie spilled all over me and ended up getting on my shirt and all over my hands. By the way it was 103 degrees that day. Then to make things worse I tripped over on an uneven crack that was on the sidewalk and broke the front part of my cheap flip flop. I had to struggle to get back to the hotel with water blisters already developing on my feet. My friends did not even speak a word with me on the way back to the hotel, but later on they said that I looked very mean and mad. They said they were scared of me and that I was scaring other people because of the mean expression that was on my face lol. I learned my lesson never to wear cheap flip flops when you are walking long distance if so take a bus to make it easier for yourself.
the Disneyland story was by Rocio Banuelos
I remember the last time my brother did something that really burn my head off... it was I think last March when I was coming out from the bathroom. Usually, we never use a lot of lights in the house (obviously, to save electricity!!) so it's creepy at night.. I remember it was 10pm, I was in the bathroom, freshening up before going to bed. I came out of the bathroom and didn't even realize what's in fromt of me.. I turn off the bathroom lights and as I walk out the bathroom, I started thinking, "Why is it too dark?" then putting the thought aside, I just felt a big big, way to big of whatever it is on my face and my whole body... I started to shout for my brother and heard nothing... realizing it was his "stupid" idea... I began punching like crazy the soft thing in front of me and I suddenly heard a laughing sound behind it.... It was a mattress that my brother successfully put against the door waiting for me to come out... hahaha. I was so mad that time that he let go of the mattress and i stumbled with the whole thing on the hallway...
DaNi D.
hiyee guys, can can I put one more? getting bored and just wanna share something funny... It was back in my highschool days as a junior.. My friends started to plan a prank on one of the bully in our class which ended up in a really big mess... we were at the cafeteria, talking about faking a script about fire in school... as we were about to go back to the class, we pass by the bully (It's only the 5 of us and the bully in the hallway!). Suddenly my Friends started to cry out fire!! whatever happens I can't put in too much detail as it happened too fast.. hee hee... I felt my jaw drop as the bully pulled down the fire alarm and we ended up having no classes in the afternoon..^_^
DaNi D.
Many times throughout the day we would have to check the personal alarms for all of the employees in our prison. Over the loud speaker a "test" was announced and the alarm would briefly go off. There was other ways to test the alarms during the graveyard shift. One evening, a new officer was working the graveyard when a co-worker got an idea. He called the new guard up (at 3:30 a.m.) and announced he was Sgt. Smith and for the officer to press and test his personal alarm. One to always follow orders, the new officer pressed his alarm. The overhead alarm sounded waking all of the prisoners, Security was calling on the overhead intercom and the phone immediatly started ringing off the hook. After security had assessed no emergency had taken place, the new officer was severly reprimanded. The new officer's name? Danny Paterson.
I remeber the first time that I ran into a homeless person outside the Walgreens since I had been in the United of States for 2 years. When I past him by, he suddently spreaded his hands out and said: "Hey, man, I need 40 cents to buy a hamburger. Does he threaten me to give out my money? Is he a gang"?To be honest, I was totally shocked because nobody told me that the homeless would beg me for money someday. Therefore, I pretended not to hear him and then one voice from back, " show your respect, don't be so mean, brother". He must get me wrong.
Sorry, the story about the experience with the homeless is created by Bin Luo
Generally my most embarrassing moments revolve around food. Or..er...revolve around getting rid of food.
To start. I love food. It's a habit of mine. I eat til I get stuffed. To the point of throwing it all back up. Here are a few situations where, i should have stopped when my tummy said so.
Thanksgiving when I was about 7. We had the family get together at my aunt and uncles beautiful house in Orinda. I had one too many spoonfuls of mashed potatoes (im adament on the fact that it was the flu) and started a train of throw up, from ALL over my cousins bedroom, down the hall, to the bathroom. I don't think I even finished a tiny bit in the bathroom. by that point, it was all over the house. poor cousin. to this day, he still teases me about it. and to this day, i cant eat thanksgiving food.
My mom makes the most amazing spaghetti. Really. I dunno how she does it. Maybe Prego is just good for her. Anyways, i've on numerous occasions eaten one too many helpings, and have had to run to the bathroom. I think I've only made it to the bathroom once. Moms out there know, spaghetti sauce stains, no matter if its regergatated or not. Not to mention, I've earned the ever so endearing title of "hurl girl" from my mother. sweet huh?
snickerdoodles. ugh. the name makes me shutter. Just imagine. Me. My twin sister too. Too many snickerdoodles. Bunk buds. Cracks against the wall between the beds. And throw up. 'nuff said.
my poor mom and the throw up shes had to clean up. :)
-Jenn Sathe
I was recently hiking with a few friends. Some more intelligent than others, to say the least. Anyway, we come to this rushing river, with a log that connected the banks. One of my friends went ahead and ran across it. As I was preparing to cross the log, a friend from behind me shouts: "Wait Nate, let me go first!" As he shouts it, he flys past me, pushing me aside and forces me off balance. I start wobbling and my right foot slips on the mossy, wet part of the log. Losing my footing entirely, I collapse backwards. My back breaks my fall, right across the log, and I flip backwards into the river. Spashing around in the water, I swim towards the bank, pull myself up, and instantly glare at the son of a bitch responsible. I grab a large rock and start walking across the log again, screaming at my idiot friend. I start wobbling again, but ignore it, just so I can hurl the rock at his face. In mid-throw, I lose my footing again, and fall back into the river...
I swam back to the bank, got out, glanced at my friend, grinned, and continued on our hike.
-Nate Mitchell
Last week at the hospital, one of the nurses asked me to empty the patient's urinal. She told me to do it quitely, so not to awake the patient. As I tip-toed my way to the bathroom with the patient's urinal(full of urine and looks like beer), I tripped and spilled the urine to my uniform(yuck!). It was a busy day and had no time to change. When I reached home, I washed my uniform twice and I took a bath 3 times. Chester C.
When i was still in high school, junior year I beieve, I have friends that always join me to poke our classmates butt with a pencil through their chair, because their chair has holes on it, seeing my classmates reaction was really funny, we don't actuallt hurt them it's the fact that we shock them. one time i did it to my classmate then he freakout and accidentally hit me behind his chair so my nose started bleeding, so i went to the clinic and got a tape on my nose, from that day on they called my 50cent! then it stop whose laughing now? he.he....
---SEAN TORRES-----
I used to work at a restaurant as a server before I started working for my current employer, E.D.D. I really disliked the job because most of the customers were old (no offense to the elderly). Who likes serving families with young kids? I wanted to serve some hot chicks, so it was really depressing working at the restaurant.
But one Sunday morning there was a group of girls who were off the hook! I was so ecstatic to see good looking girls that I kept on checking them out while I was walking to the kitchen, that the door I was going to walk through planted me in the face because I wasn't paying attention to where I was going. And the customers who were close by all started laughing. It was funny to them, but not to me. I felt like a fool.
Message of the story: a door hurts when not looking. Trust me.
-Daniel Serrano
YOU GUYS ARE HILARIOUS!!!! MY SIDE HURTS FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH!!!!! --Sandra
It was my first day in the US. My brother and I had just passed thru the immigracion border in Tijuana. We were sooooo hungry so we stopped in McDonalds and told my brother that I would order, since I had learned some words in English back in Mexico. So we are at the line, and I am practicing my words...."HuMBURRGERRR...FRRAIES..UND SSODDA" over and over. We got to the cashier and I said, "TOO(2) HUMBURRGERRS, TOO(2) FRRAIES, UND TOO(2) SODDAS," the cashier proceeded to ask me, "would you like them for here or to go???"
and I responded, "NO, NO, TOO(2) HUMBURRGERRS, TOO(2) FRRAIES, UND TOO(2) SODDAS"... Cashier said, "Yes, for here or to go???"...and I continued to repeat my sentence over four to five times until the cashier got tired of me, so she puts our meals in a paper bag "to go"; I paid, grabbed the bag, picked a table and sat with my brother to enjoy our "HUMBURRGERR", while the cashier shook her head and smiled!
OOOOppsss!!!! here I'm laughing about the people who had forgotten to write their name in their blog, not knowing that I was one of them....LOL...OOPpss!!!
The insident about ordering a HUMMBURRGERR!! was Zuli Ramos; who else!!
This is Stephanie Sawhill and I wanted to tell you about another prank that I pulled, this one on my sister. My sister is a very serious person and has a lot of anger, so you can only guess that it doesn't take much for her to get mad.
Well, she had called me one day and we were just chatting away. She happenend to tell me about her cell phone bill issues and how she paid it up front for 6 months so that she didn't have to hear from them. (A lightbulb went off in my head.I knew what I needed to do.) I waited until the following day and then decided to make that phone call to her. When she answered I told her that I was from At&T calling about her cell phone being past due. Immediately, she took defense. She said, "What about it?" I said, "Well my records indicate that you are 3 weeks past due and we must receive payment within 24 hours or your service will be disconnected." She lost all self control by then and she was yelling so loud that I couldn't even make out what she was saying. I interrupted her politely and said, "Mam, I'm sorry to upset you." She said, "I'm tired of this shit! I pay my bill up front and still have issues. You better fix this problem NOW!" I replied, "There is no problem to fix, I have no recent payment on file." She said, "I'll get my proof." "Ok, that would be great," I replied. She said, "As soon as I get it I want this takin care of right away because my cell phone is my business line, I must have service." I told her, "No problem, as soon as I see the proof this problem wll be resolved."
In the meantime, my sister contacts her bank, gets the copy of what she needs and calls AT&T to get their fax number. She then faxes her information over to the collection department. Shortly after she receieves a phone call. Can you guess who from? Yes, AT&T. This gentleman was needing to know why the information was sent to them and she went into detail with him. He said, "Your account is current. In fact, I don't see any payment being due for another 5 months." She said, "one of your employees called me and told me that my phone would be turned off in 24 hours if I didn't pay it." His response, "Mam, like I said, your account is current and you have no reason to worry."
Needless to say, after they hung up from each other my sister was still very angry. She now wanted to know who that was from AT&T that gave her the wrong information. When she called me to vent, I laughed so hard. She actually got pissed at me for laughing until I finally gave in and told her that it was me:) I am currently planning more pranks as you can see how much fun I get out of them.
probaly like 2 yrs ago. I remember i was in my room and i was liping songs in the mirror and putting on lotion. I was having a good time just liping songs and stuff. But my door was open, I looked behind me and there was andrea and my sisters boyfriend laughing there asses off. I was soo embarssed but it was pretty funny
~~janna jouganatos~~
Well I have to think really hard because a lot of funny things don't happen to me...One time I was really frustrated and upset with my friend and I was telling her why and I kept going on and on and on...and she kept saying brandy, brandy, and finally I was like what and she said you have a big piece of chocolate in your teeth! That was just WRONG!! Lesson learned check your teeth before trying to scold or talk to someone about something SERIOUS it is hard to take someone seriously with a big chunk of something in their teeth.
brandy mccants
When I was in highschool, I had a job working as a hostess/fountain girl at the Howard Johnson’s restaurant. The uniforms were boring long old ladies dresses (no offense) that were below the knee. They were the kind of dresses that wrapped around and you had to tie them in the front. We were also supposed to wear nude color panty hose, and soft sole shoes. Of course that uniform idea didn’t work for me. I had my mother make some alterations on my uniform to shorten the dress way above the knee, I wore black nylons, and black dress shoes. The next day when I went to work, as I walked in with my new altered uniform the waitresses eyes just popped and their jaws dropped. They couldn’t believe what I had done to my uniform. They figured I was going to get my ass fired, but when the GM walked in and didn’t say anything they were so upset. One weekend I worked the 6:30 p.m. to 3:00 a.m. shift which I call the party shift, because all the night owls like myself come out and the place would be buzzing. Well here comes the embarrassing part of my story. As I was seating some guests my uniform came undone and totally opened up and you could see everything. I quickly wrapped my uniform, and hid in the back room for a while until I got over the shock. However, that night I made a ton of money on tips, and I earned a bunch of new nicknames that I am going to leave out of this story. :) :)
Nora Jordan
Me and my friends went to a club and they had a strip show before the club was to start. one of the strippers ask me to dance and I danced with him. I went outside to get some air and when I came back the club had started. I heard a song I liked and decided to go and dance. when I got on the dance floor I slipped and fell. I then realized I had baby oil on my shoes and legs from the stripper. My friends were looking for me they thought I had went back outside but I was on the floor of the crowed dance floor
RO
One night me and a couple of my friends were pigging out on junk food like nachos, brownies, and such. The day after i was feeling so sick during this family party. Well while my little cousin was opening her presents i threw up out of no where. Everyone kept asking me if i was pregnant, which i wasn't. it was a present my cousin wasn't expecting.-jelena fortes
I first got my old VW bug in high school, it had the original motor in it and one of the cylinders was not firing right.
One day some friends and I were heading back from the Stockton mall we were late for something or some one. Driving on one of the two lane back roads trying to take short cuts, we came up on this old beat up truck with some little fat guy driving it he was going like 35 mph. my car had four other guys in it besides me. My friend in the front seat was like were going to be late now. I said no ill just pass him. so I stepped on the gas I got in the other lane and started to pass him then the little fat man in the old truck started to speed up. All my friends were like put it to the floor. I was “It already is!” and the guy was smiling at us. We all were laughing so hard we started to cry because the more I tried to push the slower we went. And I couldn’t see because there were tears in my eyes and cars started to come.
cabel
One time in band camp...haha just kidding. this actually happened over the weekend. A few friends and I were handing out, it was around midnight and i asked my friends if they wanted to see a haunted mansion. Now, in Vallejo where i used to live, there's this really old mansion hidden in the bondocks, and yes it really is haunted but that's another story. Anyways, two other friends came with me because the others were to afraid to come. So as we were walking along the trail it begins to get darker and we had no flashlight so we had to use our cell phones. So, one of my friends got so scared he was like "dude i'm out I didn't know that it would be like this". So, he walked back to the car. Now, it's just me and one other person. So, we decide to play alittle prank on them. What we did was, we waited for about 10 min. We, just walked around the house. Now, as we were walking back to the car, before they could see us we started to run and scream as if something were following us!!! And out of nowhere you see the car just leave. I guess the driver got so scared she just decided to get the hell out of there. So, they pretty much eft us there alone in the dark next to a haunted mansion.
Don't worry they came back after a few min. But, you should have the look on there faces. Hahahaha....how evil is that!!!!
By: Steve Tacang Jr.
There's a few typos but you should get the point!
Steve T.
My father lives in Bakersfield, but comes to Sacramento quite often for golf tournaments and business trips. (He works for the oil refinery, can u say cheap gas...hell no!!!!) Anyway, as he was getting ready for his black tie gala event, he asked me for some baby oil. I was not paying any attention to him as he grabbed the oil off my nightstand. He put on the oil, put it back on the nightstand, and then proceeded to leave. Once he got to his event, his arms and legs felt extremely hot, so he thought he was suddenly coming down with something. He removed his tuxedo jacket, but still felt hot. He went into the mens restroom, removed his shirt and still felt hot. He called me in a frantic asking me to come pick him up and take him to the hospital of which I did. We arrived to the hospital and explained the symptoms which the triage nurse thought he might be having an allergic reaction to something. As I mentally retracted back as to what he had done or what he had eaten, I realized that he had grabbed my lotion off the nightstand. In total embarrasment, I explained to my dad, who is a deacon in the church, and a "by the bible kinda man," that the oil he used was my "Sexy Sour Warming Oil for Lovers." When you blow on it, or it is exposed to some type of heat, wherever you have placed the oil, that body part gets hot. He walked out of the hospital embarassed and I told him, "Dad you don't even want to know where it goes and what it goes there for." He just politely smiled and said, "You need prayer."
Eb
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